Matt Giuca <matt.giuca@gmail.com> writes:
What I took as particularly demeaning was the notion that women, in particular, need more of this style of compliment (which I took as condescending).
What if that turns out to be true though? That, because of many pressures and influences in specific groups and society broadly, some people need a higher level of recognition and support if they are not to feel excluded from a community? If that turns out to be true, I think it is significant for those of us who want to level the field. And there are women, such as the author of the document Bianca directs us toward, who are telling us that *is* the case to some extent. It behooves us all to listen carefully when women tell us about the experience of being a woman in our community, especially so because the nature of what they're describing makes it difficult for me to perceive directly.
Perhaps I'm going about it the wrong way, but I feel that the best way to make women feel more included is to treat all people, male or female, with the same respect.
Yes. That respect, though, must include respect for the qualitatively different upbringing of the sexes in our society, and acknowledging the effects those have on what people need from each other.
I would find it humiliating and excluding if I was a woman
Be very, very careful about starting any sentence this way. The nature of what's being described – a woman's experience as a newcomer in a particular primarily-male community – is not something you nor I, as men raised in this society, can expect to thought-experiment ourselves into with “if I were a woman”. -- \ “The right to search for truth implies also a duty; one must | `\ not conceal any part of what one has recognized to be true.” | _o__) —Albert Einstein | Ben Finney